Thursday, May 20, 2010

Star Trek by the Minute 103: I Know Your Face

Aimlessly wandering around in the tunnels, it takes Kirk all of 15 seconds to run into Nero and Ayel, and it seems: completely by chance.  He tells Nero: “Nero, order your men to disable the drill or I will...aaaaauuuugggghhh!” Yelling as Ayel steps from the shadows and smashes Kirk’s skull with a rifle butt, knocking him to the deck, senseless, and his phaser slides off the platform.
  
In this overhead shot of Nero running toward Kirk, we see that the Narada is comparable in size to the Grand Canyon, and yet Kirk and Spock just happened to beam in right next to the Jellyfish, then Kirk just happens to run into Nero and Ayel.  One wonders if he’ll just happen to run into Pike for a rescue with the same kind of coincidences we have been shown all along, like Kirk just happened to be marooned on Delta Vega, then saved by a monster a split second before being eaten, falling off a cliff a split second before being eaten a second time, running blind right into a snow cave shelter a split second before being eaten a third time, meeting Spock prime inside that cave, who saves him a split second before being eaten a forth time, in a cave which just happened to be next to an abandoned Federation outpost, which just happened to have all the equipment needed to build revolutionary new transporter technology, and just happened to be staffed by the only person in the galaxy who could design transwarp beaming, and so on.
  
Look at this picture.  Nero takes one look at Kirk in this position and says “I know your face from Earth’s history.”  Ridiculous.  Nero, we are to believe, not only has memorized the service records of scientists and diplomats from a Federation which he despises and intends to destroy, not only has he memorized these for the past century, but he’s also memorized the post-pubescent appearance of Starfleet personalities.  Perhaps this ludicrous line was inserted to provide an excuse not to kill Kirk, just like the ludicrous Pike interrogation was put in to provide some justification for Nero’s inexplicable saving of Pike.  On the other hand, it could be that Nero has a fetish for the closely shaven chins of Feddies and has spend 20 years obsessing over collections of romantically lit photo's from the "Federation Neck Monthly"?

Nero, like any bad cliche of a villian, does exactly what we expect with Kirk: rather than kill him, he starts a monologue while ineffectually tossing Kirk around, making certain Kirk never slides off the edge of a platform.  A silly, predictable, pro-wrestling style fistfight ensues, as we cut to Spock piloting the Jellyfish through the great expanse of the Narada’s interior.
  
Again, what are the odds of randomly finding any specific location in such a maze?  Perhaps once in a lifetime if walking on foot.

No women speak or appear in this segment.

Spock and a Vulcan science scout vessel take on the Narada and do more damage than a fleet of Klingon battlecruisers in our next episode of Star Trek by the Minute 104: Gate Crasher

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