Thursday, July 23, 2009

Star Trek by the Minute 028: Ship of Fools

Previous: Three Years Later

Nero walks onto the bridge, and Ayel says: "Sir, we've arrived at the coordinates you've calculated, there's nuthin' here. What are your orders?" Nero and the Romulan miners apparently have advanced since they came out of the original lightning storm from beyond visual range, now they not only can calculate when and where they are, but have taught themselves temporal cosmology beyond that of any scientists in any of the planets of the Federation, and the miners' retroactively analyzed trajectories through time and space for both their ship and that of Spock prime, and were able to predict that Spock would reappear not merely in the same universe, but when and where his ship would emerge. Compared to these sand diggers, the Vulcan Science Academy Council looks like Pakled Larry, Moe, and Curly. Unfortunately like many super geniuses concerned with lofty physics, these Romulans lost interest in mundane trivia like razors, and the mysteries of shaving were lost.

Looking at the viewscreen he has just approached, Nero responds "We wait, we wait for the one who allowed your home to be destroyed...as we've been doing for 25 years." Apparently, Nero is referring here to a home that *might* be destroyed…in the future…in an alternate universe…possibly, or possibly not. No one on board says a word about how lunatic this course of action is – perhaps they fear the biker tattoos – but it is a bit hard to swallow characters doing things so much against their situation, and no one reacting.

Ayel asks: "…and once we've killed him?" Nero (crazed): "Kill him? I'm not gonna kill him – I'm unna make him watch," MWahahaha! And lightning flashes ominously around the bridge, which is a great effect take on the mad-scientist / evil genius villain. The flashes are not coming from the viewscreen where they turn to look, but that's pretty minor – and the evil green glow of their ship is appropriately sinister. I think they secretly hired Lurch & Morticia for decorating.

They both gaze (Nero and Ayel, not the Addams) at the viewscreen to see a ship emerge from a large vortex that appeared. Nero orders: "Capture that ship! Welcome back, Spock."

Meanwhile, back on Earth at Starfleet Academy, we see McCoy and Kirk walking in what is supposed to be San Francisco…only sunny, and with lots of miniskirts. McCoy asks "Why are you so happy?" Kirk: "I don't know what you're talkin' about!" "No, I don't suppose you do…" Kirk eyes some women up and down saying: "HELLO ladies! I'm taking the test again." "You gotta be kidding me!" "Yeah, tomorrow morning. I want you there." "You know, I've got better things to do that watch you embarrass yourself for a third time."

Next: Roommates

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