Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Star Trek by the Minute 105: SPAAAHHHK!!!

On the Narada, Nero continues to strangle Kirk with his bare hands (a pretty inefficient way to wipe out an entire species) but I suppose you have to start somewhere…  An announcer comes on loudspeakers to announce, finally: “Captain Nero, the Vulcan ship has been taken – the drill has been destroyed.”  Apparently, this is some kind of excuse for Nero NOT to kill Kirk while he has the chance, just like he didn’t kill Spock prime, didn’t make Spock prime “watch” Vulcan’s destruction, didn’t kill nuSpock, nuKirk, nuPike, or destroy the Abramsprise when he had the opportunity for those things.
  
Instead of finally killing Kirk, he RELEASES Kirk in order to yell at nothing: “SPAAAHHHK!!!  SPAAAHHHK!!!”  before jumping  down 20 meters and just ignoring the would-be Federation commando to recover his strength and escape.  Apparently, having a useless chat with a young Vulcan takes priority, but we can ignore Nero’s inexplicable actions if we wave our hands and say “He’s insane from grief…”
 
Nero orders: “Open a channel!” and then “Spock, I knew I should have killed you when I had the chance.”  Well, DUH!  Nero seriously SAVED Kirk’s life so he could deliver this vital bit of cosmically important wisdom on subspace – he must be some kind of galactically intelligent uber-philosopher!  …or at least the Paklids might think so.
 
Spock responds: “I hereby confiscate this illegally obtained ship and order you to surrender your vessel.  No terms.” What?  “NO terms”??   This means the captain and crew, if they agree to peacefully end hostilities, they cannot expect to survive or to receive any mercy AT ALL?  If they surrender they could be tortured as gruesomely, painfully, and for as long as it is possible to keep them alive and after that, resuscitated for even more depraved abuse?  Dare we mention that this offer comes from a MAJOR HERO in Abrams’ version of Star Trek??? Unbelievable!

Nero very sensibly orders “That ship, take it out!”, but one of his officers warns: “Sir, if you ignite the red matter…”  Nero interrupts, screaming “I want Spock dead NOW!”  At this point suicide for the Narada crew would be far more rational than winding up at the mercy of these Federation thugs – who now appear far more dangerous than one insane and grieving Romulan. 
  
We see a salvo of torpedoes leaving the Narada, straight  toward the Jellyfish as Spock somehow (and the scene is unclear on this) zips through them without much evasive maneuvering as this segment ends.

No women speak or appear in this segment.

Kirk’s life is saved for perhaps a fifth time by Romulan enemies supposedly trying to kill him in our next episode of Star Trek by the Minute 107: Your Species is Weak

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